Grief Changes Us And That’s Okay

Grief is not a straight line.

It is not tidy.

It does not arrive with a schedule or an instruction manual.

Grief is a living, breathing experience that moves through us like weather. Sometimes quiet and gray, sometimes stormy and overwhelming, sometimes unexpectedly calm. And no matter how prepared we think we are, it changes us.

To grieve is to be human.

Yet in a world that pushes us to “move on,” “stay strong,” and “get back to normal,” grief can feel like something we are supposed to rush through. As if it were a problem to solve instead of a process to honor.

But grief is not a problem.

It is a passage.

Allowing Yourself to Feel

One of the hardest parts of grief is giving ourselves permission to feel it.

We often think we need to be brave for others, productive for the world, or composed for appearances. We distract ourselves, numb ourselves, or tell ourselves we should be “over it by now.”

But grief does not disappear because we ignore it.

It waits. Patiently.

True healing begins when we stop running from our emotions and sit beside them instead.

The stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance are not steps on a ladder. They are more like waves in the ocean. Some days you will feel steady. Other days you will feel pulled under. And both are normal.

Allow yourself to be exactly where you are.

Crying is not weakness.

Anger is not failure.

Sadness is not a lack of faith or strength.

They are simply expressions of love with nowhere to go.

How Grief Changes Us

We are never the same after loss.

And while that truth can feel frightening, it can also be gentle.

Grief softens us.

It deepens us.

It teaches us to hold life more tenderly.

Over time, we begin to realize that healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry what happened in a new way. We grow around our grief. It becomes part of our story instead of the whole story.

You are not meant to “bounce back.”

You are meant to evolve forward.

Working Through Grief with Breath and Meditation

When emotions feel too big for words, the body becomes a doorway to healing.

Grief lives in the body; tight chests, heavy shoulders, shallow breaths, restless nights. This is why meditative and breathing practices can be so powerful. They give us a way to process what the mind cannot organize.

You do not need to force peace.

You only need to create space.

Here are a few gentle practices to support you:

1. Hand-to-Heart Breathing

Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.

Inhale slowly through your nose.

Exhale softly through your mouth.

As you breathe, silently say to yourself:

“I am safe to feel this.”

This simple act reminds your nervous system that you are held, even in pain.

2. The Sighing Breath

Grief often makes us hold our breath without realizing it.

Take a deep inhale through your nose.

Open your mouth and let out a long, audible sigh.

Do this five times.

Let each sigh release a little of what you’ve been carrying.

3. Loving-Kindness Meditation for Yourself

Sit quietly and repeat:

May I be gentle with myself.

May I give myself permission to heal.

May I find moments of peace, even here.

Grief can make us harsh with ourselves. This practice softens that inner voice.

4. Body-Based Grounding

When emotions surge, bring attention back to your physical body.

Feel your feet on the floor.

Notice the weight of your hands.

Name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear.

This anchors you when grief feels overwhelming.

There Is No Timeline

Healing does not have an expiration date.

Some losses take months to process.

Some take years.

Some change us forever.

And all of that is okay.

What matters is not how quickly you move through grief, but how kindly you walk with yourself while you are in it.

A Gentle Reminder

You do not need to carry grief perfectly.

There will be days you feel strong and days you don’t want to get out of bed. Days you laugh again and then feel guilty for laughing. Days you think you’re okay and then a song, a memory, a scent brings it all back.

This is not failure.

This is love remembering.

Be patient with your heart.

Let yourself feel.

Let yourself breathe.

And trust that, little by little, light will find its way back in.

Closing Journal Prompt

Take a few quiet breaths before you begin.

Then reflect gently on the following:

• What does my grief need from me today-rest, movement, expression, or stillness?

• In what ways has this experience changed me, even in small, subtle ways?

• How can I offer myself one act of compassion right now?

• If my grief could speak, what would it want me to know?

Write without judging your words. There are no right answers, only honest ones.

End your reflection with this simple affirmation:

“I am allowed to heal at my own pace.”

If it seems as though the emotions you are experiencing are becoming too intense consider a yoga therapist or counselor to speak with and guide you through your healing process.

Always with love,

Tameka Chanel